My Farewell to All

Hello!
Well these are my notes from my last talk I gave at my farewell - text version to those who were not able to have it in audio (I apologize the auido was better hehe)

But anyway I love you all, i will keep you all in my memory as I go - really your love and support will give me the GO I need on the mission!

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My name is Susanne Salisbury, daughter of David and Elaine Salisbury. I have never spent a lot of time in this ward. I think it split from Prince William Ward when I was a freshman in college, then the next summer I went to El Salvador for humanitarian service, and this last year I have lived in Madrid, so it's really only been short comes and goes, but thank you to all of you who have welcomed me with open arms, I regret if I haven't gotten the opportunity to meet everyone.

Anyway, I was asked me to speak about why I had decided to go on a mission. But to answer that question I think it would be more appropriate to first discuss why I am a member of this church.

Finding your Belief

In the process of finding my belief, I cannot exclude the many years of church attendance, activity in youth programs, lessons taught to me by parents and leaders—these things have all had huge roles in forming my testimony and my collections of beliefs. But today I want to focus on more recent experiences where I have further strengthened these beliefs by taken the transition from lessons taught to lessons learned. It's been a journey that hasn't been easy with many close calls, but one that has been well worth it and one I can not accurately express my gratitude for.

I will describe different stages/moments of my life where in I have formed parts of my beliefs paralleled with a general outline of the simple act of gaining a testimony.

First I want to begin with doubt.

Often, one begins to search their belief with a question, a doubt, a lack of understanding. Depending on the desire, this is often accompanied by unrest, confusion or frustration. Years ago, Elder Howard W. Hunter spoke to the youth regarding their testimony facing initial doubts of the gospel that they had:

“I have sympathy for young men and young women when honest doubts enter their minds and they engage in the great conflict of resolving doubts. These doubts can be resolved, if they have an honest desire to know the truth, by exercising moral, spiritual, and mental effort. They will emerge from the conflict into a firmer, stronger, larger faith because of the struggle. They have gone from a simple, trusting faith, through doubt and conflict, into a solid substantial faith which ripens into testimony” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1960, p. 108).

Doubt is natural to the human mind – and facing these doubts is the only way and the best way to move forward in gospel faith. The solutions are instruction, study, the listening to feelings and to good judgment. This process, although difficult will result in fortification of beliefs, and the resolve of further unsurities.


Cheiko N. Okazaki, Former first counselor in the Relief Society general presidency in the 1990s, encourages members to honestly search and find answers within the gospel “The one great stumbling block to our progress in faith is rule-keeping that does not spring from a honest heart. Too many people imply in their attitude toward others that our Heavenly Father excepts perfect conformity to established rules. But Jesus Christ never condemned the honest in heart. His wrath was kindled against the hypocritically empty rule-keeping of the Pharises.” 26

Be honest to yourself and to your God. If you have doubts or questions, face them honestly – with good intent – desire to gain a knowledge for yourself.

Once we can acknowledge weakness in our belief/testimony we can begin diligent study to resolve this questions. - this is indeed a form of humility.

An example of an honest heart I find in –Mark 9:24, (as stated in WAFF “ a man who brought his son to Jesus, asking for him to be healed from epileptic seizures. Jesus told the man that all things are possible – if he believed. The man could have simply responded with a declaration of belief, but he knew his hear all too well.) He could only respond with the truth, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

“The Lord is not shocked by, embarrassed about, or angry at our limitations. Instead, he makes a promise of incredible generosity, kindness, and absolutely unequivocal love to all of us: He tells us in Ether 12:24 – that he will show unto us our weakenesses to make us strong.”

27 And if [you] come unto me I will show unto [you your] aweakness. I bgive unto [you] weakness that [you] may be humble; and my cgrace is sufficient for all men that dhumble themselves before me; for if [you] humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make eweak things become strong.


Second, is study -desire: through further and fervent/diligent study we can receive a deeper and stronger understanding to the doubt that we search to be answered. Though prayer is important in gaining this testimony that we lack, many times we cannot merely rely on prayer for answers and expect the Lord to immediately reveal his answers to us, (although he will help us) but we need to do our own part -

President Joesph Fielding Smith in his book, Answers To Gospel Questions, stresses the importance of individual study in the process of gaining knowledge. In the preface of his book, Answers to Gospel Questions he states “The reason for these answers to questions is ....to stimulate members of the Church to spend a little more of their spare time in personal research. Of far more profit is a fact discovered by research, than by information received. The impression on the mind lasts longer.”

The scriptures also tell us we must go to the Lord in prayer and listen to the spirit for an answer. Now as a kid growing up, I always hated hearing this part of the process, it was something I would almost roll my eyes too. It just seemed like such a cop out answer – How can I , while searching for answers of even if a God exists go to him in prayer – and having to base my rational beliefs on something as supernatural and abstract as 'The Spirit.'

The importance of this principle, of personal revelation and having the ability to trust your feelings and promptings was clarified to me a few months ago – one Friday night, casually listening to conversation about religions between two friends – Farouk – an Egyptian who holds to his Muslim beliefs, and Louis – a Spaniard who holds no belief in a supreme being. My Muslim friend was spending almost fifteen min explaining to Louis the importance of a god in the world, how it answers the basic questions of why we are here and where we are going, and about his infinite goodness and role on Rarth. Louis sat back patiently letting my friend, Farouk give his fill of all – and on then as rebuttal for what Louis said only finishes with this question..

“But how do you KNOW that God exist – does he talk to you?” – My Muslim friend, taken back, did not have an answer, But I did. I knew the answer through personal experience. Yes! Exactly! God does talk to me! God does talk to me and you and his children and he can tell us what is true and what isn't. I do receive a confirmation of my prayers from the Holy Ghost when I pray– I do have a feeling that the BOM is true when I read the BOM– how do I know that? Because I feel it.

Louis didn't intend to give me the justification/loop hole to rationally base my beliefs on promptings of the supernatural, but he did. We can all gain a personal belief in spiritual things through listening to the emotions and feelings of our heart. Let yourself listen to the spirit.

While studying and reading different sources of information, learn to trust your feelings. You have the power of the Holy Ghost to judge and to discern between Good and Evil.

We know that by Adam and Eve we were giving the power of discernment between good and evil – Our first parents, knowing the importance this ability would be so necessary to us consciously made a sacrifice, so that we could have that power in our lives which was the only way that could enable us to reach our fullest potentials.

Moroni also reiterates that promise for this awesome gift: Moro. 7: 15 For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to ajudge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night.

In Alma we are also given a very simple and basic method for learning new principles, testing them, and based on the results of this process deciding for ourselves if they are true or not. Now, we will compare the word unto a aseed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your cheart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your dunbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to eenlighten my funderstanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me. (Alma 32: 28 )

Listen to your feelings.

II. Choose

1. We have faced our doubts, we have gone to study with an open mind and heart to feel and trust the feelings of our heart.
2. Now we come to the time to choose. This is a very important, quite separate, and crucial step. The actual act of choosing when it comes to faith and belief is one which I do not think can be focused on enough.


In Joshua 2:24 choose you this day whom ye will cserve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites. Whatever it may be- chose it. Make this choice, trust your feelings whether it be hard or not. Many times we will face difficult times in our lives – where we can not see clearly – it is not easy to make decisions in the face of temptation – it is always easier to choose to choose the right before you enter the situation. Its like trying to start a no sugar diet when you are already in the candy store. Impossible. Starting a no chocolate diet when you are already holding one of Sis. Bastian's brownies in your hand – even more impossible.

The church and the Lord encourages us to make these choices, consciously choose to be a member of this church, to serve in your callings, to come to services on Sunday – all of it is based on choices, of what we chose and what we do.
Often times it is not easy to make this choice. Often we find that what our heart tells us is against the words of our families, our spouses, our children, our backgrounds. Our world as we have always known it. But there is no use to live a lie. There is no glory to live as the Pharises – only obeying laws with empty hearts.


I have had few but powerful examples of people in my life who have made such radical changes in their belief systems. But I view them with the highest respect and thank them for the example of strength and honesty they have shown me. For their examples I knew that if needed be, I could also make the same decision, although it would be hard, I would be willing to sacrifice – and change – and let down those who loved me – if I didn't believe it was true – I knew that I also could not live that lie.


But now let me share with you the reasons I have decided to believe, and how I come to be here today before you. It is not a glorious tale, not even really exciting, It begins with simple honesty of heart, matched with a strong desire.

I came to a point in my life where I was very close to the edge. So close I could taste it. So close that I wanted it – to just let go – jump in and enjoy the amazing, fun, wild, ride that it would be. It was one of those diet in the candy store type of situations. In this moment I could not see why one way would be wrong and the other right – the morality line was almost invisible – but in this moment before making any drastic decision – my mind rested on three images – blurry distant images – t


The first was the faces of my family, my friends, loved ones once they were to know of my decision to leave – it wasn't of anger or of harsh judgment, but of true and bitter sorrow. And it hurt.

The second. The same people, sisters, mother, aunt, friends, and their testimonies – not their words but I saw them, each one individually living their lives with the gospel principles – why – because it was what they believed. Powerful examples of faith.

The third image – pulled me back a year and a half ago to a small orphanage in El Salvador where I had spent the summer with a humanitarian group. I entering that orphanage in the middle of the jungle full of a fifty handicapped children of no-bodies –forgotten by their parents and the world – but going to push them in their wheelchairs and seeing the stamp of the organization who had donated them – The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Then my mind turned to the Tsunami in 2004 that had hit in Indonesia – and the news broadcast I had heard about the top two donating organizations – The LDS church as number one, and the Mormon church in a close second.

Other images of humanitarian acts of the church around the world as well as the positive effects I saw the gospel bring to the close loved ones of my life moved in my mind.

In this moment, although I was unable to examine the situation based on morality issues, I decided to believe. Like Alma had promised to us, I could see , I could feel that it was good that Church of Jesus Christ is a Good thing – it helps people individually, locally, and globally. So without fully understanding the wrong of the other choice, I chose to believe. I chose to have faith – to hope in a better world – that there is divinity – that each child of God does have Divine Potential, that there is a greater picture and that greater picture is full of hope, love, and joy. – I chose to believe. And that has made all the difference.